I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Text me some of your sweat
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