She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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