I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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