oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
