oh god the rape fog is back!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
