There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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