I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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