I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
