The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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