I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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