I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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