When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
