she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
