so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
