and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize