I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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