that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
