you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
