She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
