Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize