Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
