can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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