I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
