as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize