Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
