ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize