So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
