It's Friday. Sex?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize