I'm lost and stupid without you.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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