it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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