The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
