I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
