Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize