i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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