how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
