last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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