So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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