she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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