god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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