I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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