He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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