is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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