You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize