so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
