I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Randomize
