Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
