she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
