Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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