bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
