U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
