wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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