Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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