Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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