we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
