Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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