I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
