It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
