he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
