Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think I sprained my soul last night
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should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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